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Joke - Why I fired my Secretary

Why I fired my Secretary.


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.


I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.


As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone
' Happy Birthday.'


I thought...


Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...
They will remember.


My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! 'It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go!'


We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.


On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'


I responded, 'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.


She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ....
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.



And I just sat there...




On the couch...




Naked.

Comments

  • true story? :d
  • Makes me think of that coupling episode, "Naked".

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYB55w746n8

    [Edited on 6-2-09 by Stan]
  • Excellent joke!
  • Its OK - I got over it

    But, then this happened


    WIFE:
    What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?



    HUSBAND:

    Definitely not!



    WIFE:

    Why not - don't you like being married?



    HUSBAND:

    Of course I do.



    WIFE:

    Then why wouldn't you remarry?



    HUSBAND:

    Okay, I'd get married again.



    WIFE:

    You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).



    HUSBAND:

    (Makes audible groan).



    WIFE:

    Would you live in our house?



    HUSBAND:

    Sure, it's a great house.



    WIFE:

    Would you sleep with her in our bed?



    HUSBAND:

    Where else would we sleep?



    WIFE:

    Would you let her drive my car?



    HUSBAND:

    Probably, it is almost new.



    WIFE:

    Would you replace my pictures with hers?



    HUSBAND:

    That would seem like the proper thing to do.



    WIFE:

    Would she use my golf clubs?



    HUSBAND:

    No, she's left-handed.



    WIFE:
    - silence - -



    HUSBAND:
    F * ck....
  • My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

    I said, 'Dust.'

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

    I bought her a weighing scale.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

    I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

    And then the fight started....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----------------------------------------

    My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

    and then the fight started.....

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

    And that's when the fight started....
  • My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” in bed.
    I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
    “No,” she answered.
    I asked, “Is that your final answer?”
    She didn’t even look at me simply replied: “Yes.”
    So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
    And that’s when the fight started….
  • Old Blokes don't care

    As we age, we tend to end up seeing more of the medical establishment.

    For example, my doctor referred me to a female urologist.

    I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous.

    She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy.

    She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

    When I asked her why, she said,

    'Because I'm trying to examine you...'
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