Existing Users: Because of an update to the forum software you will need to reset your password. Please use the "Forgot?" link on the sign in form to do so. If that doesn't work, send me an email at feedback@forzaminardi.com and I'll sort you out!
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage in front of huge crowd.
Her Majesty and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the Queen says to the Pope,
"Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him.
Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every English person in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be out done by someone wearing a worse frock & hat than he, considers what he could do.
"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make every IRISH person in the crowd go crazy with joy?
This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice.
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever?
Show me
So the Pope slapped her
(Please note- No offence intended!!........)
[Edited on 27/2/2006 by Ger]
Comments
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on
the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's
going to start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."
"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop
your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to
run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and
wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started!"
A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Cause you're ugly".
I know, it's lame but I thought it was a thread about lame Jokes.
But my ankle is now better and I'm not limping anymore.
We can now get back to the full strength jokes unless there's someone on the forum with cracked ribs.
;):):D:hehe:
You owe me.
After few minutes he comes back with a basket full of eggs, salame, ham, a couple of chickens. berlusconi asks where he got that stuff. "the farmer gave it to me", says the chauffer. "Why?", asks Berlusconi
And the chaffeur: "I just told him 'I'm mr Berlusconi's chaffeur and I killed the swine'..."
like this one
There is a massive traffic jam on the autostrada de sole and one of the drivers caught up in it is getting impatient. He lowers his window and yells to a passing by road worker "What on earth is going on?" The man replies: "A group of terrorists have taken Berlusconi hostage and they demand 20 million Euro or they will cover him in petrol and set him on fire. That's why we're raising funds"
"I see," the man replies "So how much do you have so far?"
"500 litres of super and 4 lighters"
The litle boy: "Granpa, won't you tell me the story of the World War III?"
The old man: "It all started with 11/9. Then tehere were wars and terroristic attacks. But, after some years, manhood understood that we were reunning towards our self-destruction. And that the only chance for everyone was peace. And so al the wars finished. And finally we had peace on Earth... Then, one day, Berlusconi was on tv and he told the joke about the islamic cocksucker..."