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New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Questionnaire
* How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also
allowing
room for your cattle dog?
* When packing an Esky do you put the ice or the beer in first?
* Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a
pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze and
ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather
continues fine.
* How many beers in a slab?
* Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but
No I don't agree"?
* The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which
TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
* When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
* Name three of the Daddo brothers.
* Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
* Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before
going to the beach?
* Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
* How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from
Australia to England?
* How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana
travelling at 120km/h?
* Who are Scott and Charlene?
* How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
* If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it
personally?
* Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a
yardie full of beer the fastest?
* Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
* Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
d)Japanese Safety Boots
* On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001
or 2005?
* What someone is more likely to die of?
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
* How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner
barbie?
* Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?
* Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss
the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
* Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
* Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
* Is it best to take a sick day:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket's on
* What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
* What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
* What are Budgie smugglers?
* Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
* A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
* What does having a 'chunder' mean?
* When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
* What do the following terms mean:
a) Mate?
b) Maate
c) Maaaaaaate?
* Best Aussie name is what?
a) Cheryl
b) Charlene
c) Bazza
d) Thommo
e) Shazza
Comments
Billy Connelly was asked during an interview what he thought of John Howard. His answer was "what can you think of a man whose only purpose in life is to show you what Harry Potter will look like when he grows old"
I actually laughed out loud.
We may have to make you an honoury Aussie, in recognition of your efforts to enhance cultural understanding.
Spin
[Edited on 21/2/2006 by Dr_Spin]
Almost makes yer proud!
Had a mullet once but it wasn' much fun. ;)
....for either of us!
Spin
The wife goes in the back of the Ute and the beer goes in the front next to you!
Stupid!
Piston Broke, I'm starting to question your priorities. Everybody knows that the handbrake(wife) stays at home making sure the fridge is at the correct temp and, the dog goes in the front. Good dogs are hard to come by and they need to be looked after.
I'm not an Austrailian so I don't know a lot about this subject, but shouldn't the dog be back at the house making sure the wife is checking the frigdge for the proper temp? At least now the dog is out of the ute, leaving more room for slabs.
As I said I'm not Austrailian so please correct me if I'm wrong.
The "mullet" reference concerns the expression
"looking like a stunned mullet".
That's like the look on Dubya's face when 911 or Katrina happens or when someone asks him a question that's not on his script.
You also see it sometimes when an Aussie tells a joke and his audience haven't acquired the downunder sense of humour.
Spin
PS see you at Seca, we're staying at Monterey the week before. How best to catch up?
(extract from ABC TV Australia website)
Piston, another reason the dog should be in the front.
Telstar, she's got plenty of time to keep a check on the fridge, I mean, she'll be in the kitchen cooking anyway. :D