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  • Williams give 'The Brick' his marching orders after his aero work goes a little too 'off the wall'
  • 'NEW' F1 Cost Cutting Iniative - No. 1

    Williams field test new 'simplified' telemetary system.

    "It's great stuff quipped the Grove outfit's 14 year old technical director, Little Sammy Michels. And the really good bit is that we have a different coloured flag for each message. We call it 'Semaphoremetary'. Of course we won't be letting anyone know what the codes are as we need to maintain our technological edge at all costs" "You know the drivers just love running up the halyard between corners and we are already trialling a one-handed system".

    There have been unconfirmed reports that Minardi are trialling a similar system using a flashing light
  • Pizzonia to be lapped for the sixth time in an hour.
  • Reports suggest Pizzonia was not happy with the set up for the race. Said Antonio "It's too spwingy, I cant keep it on the gwound'
  • Pizzonia (thinks to self): Hmm, i've got this wired. If I win - it's because of my superior skill. And if I lose - it's not fair, I wasn't given equal equipment.
  • Williams explores cheaper alternatives for F1's future regs.

    1) No aero aids
    2) No driver overalls
    3) No track
  • To the Bahrain government's horror, in the morning of the Bahrain Grand Prix the organisers wake up to find that the track has been stolen, due to contractual agreements with FOM the goverment have no choice but to make 'alternative arangements' and let the race go ahead.....
  • Bernie brings Grand Prix to the Sahara
  • Headline

    "Has Mark Webber lost his nerve?"

    Webber is seen here backing off the throttle on the approach to elevation change on the back straight at Bahrain and letting team tester Pizzonia move ahead. Webber was later quoted as saying, "My mind went back to Le Mans and that bloody Mercedes......."

    Williams No2 Nick Heidfeld(seen here in the background) was heard to mutter, "Mercedes, don't talk to be about getting flipped by Mercedes! Norbert, what sort of fucking name is Norbert. Big fat sausage eating, bean farting mother fucker"
  • The new edition of Dakar has started with the Williams F1 team entering. A bad start to the event as they all oversleep. When they finally start they are a day behind.

    Pizza: Thos bloody Williams alarm clocks.

    Heidfeld: You set the bloody alarm Pizza Boy.

    Webber: Thats what you get when you rely on pizzas.
  • Tilke's latest.

    MW to NH: Oh FFS. Look at that idiot .Tell you what we'll let him get so far in front then turn round and leave 'im in the desert.

    NH: yeah cool
  • Pizza truing to impress BMW to convince he can 'jump' to nick's seat


    Pizza: 'no more baked beans for breakfast'
  • williams costs cutting

    AP: hurry up guys, we'll get to Bahrein in time...
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